Monday, July 22, 2013

i miss you hubby! :(

time flies way too fast.
surprisingly, my husband and I have been part for almost 8 months..
for those who might not know this, i got married last 10th september 2012
it started since i flied back here last 10th october 2012..
Been strongly endure myself, gather the remaining strength, held my conscious level up till my max limit..waiting for this october 2013 to come.i eagerly want to see the face of my beloved..i seriously do!
yes, i missed my dearest husband damn too much..we have only been together for a solid month, then soon after i'd got to leave him unwillingly,halfhearted. with tears been running down almost everyday, i face my day vapidly.

if only we are together now, its gonna be our very first Ramadhan as a husband n wife..
it make me so sick that i can't even return home for the Eid. i need to study and prepare myself for the upcoming final exam. i'm telling you, this is such a punishment and i'm totally in grieve.
it so sad that i cant even be with my beloved one,and instead i will celebrate alone for this year Eid's breaking me hard!

hundreds of miles away from home, alone, as most of my friends bravely taking risk, took their leave, without give doubt or second thought about the upcoming exams,fly back home, well yeah, my jealousy beyond my control, yet i cant even dare to take the same risk to return, i was afraid that i'm not gonna have time to study, logically, i have a husband that i haven't meet for almost a year, with my duty as a wifey, surely i'm not gonna have enough time to focus for my exam.and wut gonna be the outcomes of my final year result?i bet not gonna be as excel as last year.

i'm not strong,i'm depressed,
almost everyday i'd got a call from my husband to motivate and encourage me to keep on moving, stay strong, and study harder. i can't think straight with me of being alone, yes, the loneliness, the emptiness totally drive me nuts. i hate being here alone, i wants somebody to keep me company.
well yeah, none is here right now, along with this country having such a hard time, additionally gave me mentally unsecured..

so now, i will just move on, study hard, focus more, and diligently walking to my success. abang, i misses you so much.please wait for me..we've both suffered, yet you still stay calm, and literally keeps me company eventhough you can't be here "physically" but i'm confident your heart and soul are both with me. am i right dear? :D

dear ALLAH, if this is the sacrifice that i had to endure in order to obtain success, then please ALLAH do grand me the success that you planned for me all way around. and keep my husband safe, give him fortune, bless and pour him barakah..ameen

p.s: dear beloved families, happy fasting in this holy month of Ramadhan, and happy Eidul Fitri to all..may happiness be ours and reader, if u r a muslim, i wishes you happy fasting and keep on doing good deeds during this holy month..may ALLAH grant and count every good deeds you are doing and forgive your bad deeds.HAPPY RAMADHAN peeps! :)

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

life is hard, yet it wasn't too hard.

hallo readers,
sorry to keep u waiting for my new entry.
act,.i wasn't even sure if there is anyone who really did follow my blog though.
anyhow, let we just drop the subject first..ok?

i realized, i haven't been active in my writing for quite some times.
yeah, the blamed is on me of course.i still was unable to fit into my fixed and messy schedule yet.
totally my mistake, & sincerely, i apologize for my wrongdoing!..
my hibernation in winter had passed, spring is in its full blossom over the city, and probably summer awaits us for the next coming weeks.yet me, is still the old-fag me..nothing had changed really! T___T

with my homeland's having its annual general election, & my current position facing a fortnight of multiple exams/OSCE, so there's nothing much in interest to be share with except my experienced during my ward rounding & the election's scenario happened in my beloved country, Malaysia.
frankly,i wasn't a fan of political thingy,neither for the government nor the opposition, but sure as it is, i do pay full attention & concern regarding the upcoming result of PRU election, to know who is going to govern the country for the next coming 5 years,and it really matter to all the Malaysian.
we pray and hope for the best for the sake of our future generation.

i'm pretty sure the flags and banners of the opposition and the current government beholder were flying all over the places, focusing on their candidates achievement, academic qualification and the contribution during the past few years and etc etc. politic and politician is differ thou..full on conspiracy theory..when we mention theories then its neither true nor wrong..perhaps GOD knows the best!i really hope to see the rise of clean and beauty multiraces n cultural of Malaysian. i'll pray hard for this in shaa ALLAH. :D

Practically, sometimes i felt like ("damn ..arghhhh!!" ) too stress when i've only know the surface, while those theories of conspiracy were digged much deeper, wondering if they were real or for the god damn sake,factitious..
therefore in order to avoid such dizziness,  i'll only concerning about the things that i'm sure, the country achievement or fall..the current state of government financial, the rose of consumed foods by the citizens, and the current houses and lands prices...
(nowadays houses were unforeseeable , unbearable, unaffordable and so many un un un...etc.will go with the lists)
 i've read a brochure about a new available houses in a quite fond & strategic area, last summer break, surprisingly the price was damn too high, i don't think within this coming few years of working i'm able to afford buying one..yeah, damn high prices with the land prices rose like hell out of the blue, with the current foods prices and petrol oils were rose too, then would you think anyone who is just started working or settled down to have a family will afford to get one?
perhaps in your dream maybe, but in reality, NEVER! unless u'r from such a wealthy family its exceptional. (see i'm bits of emotional.ergh!)

next topic please!
yeah ..yeah..yeah...i know, the political thingy might be quite boring and stressful though..

rounding session~

back few days, i've a met a patient named syaima', aged 7 years old, she is having a diffuse abdomen enlargement-(hepato-splenomegaly), i wasn't sure enough to confirm the disease she was diagnosed with, because i wasn't really paid the attention during the lecturer briefing as i was full of myself observing her from head to toes.
her belly appearance was like our sister or mother who had a 9th months of pregnancy,
very huge up to the point, invasive treatment is going to take place in spite of the former medical drugs.
the doctor responsible said that she was listed for a surgery next coming months.& they are in needed to monitor her disease progression, to prevent any silly mistake done later on.
as we all know,once the spleen is removed, there will be lots of complications waiting ahead, hence, a total precaution must be considered precisely for the future sake of the ptn itself...
considering myself in syaima's shoes wasn't a good decision..
it reach to the point that i felt so ashamed with myself. i was dreadfully ashamed against an innocent child.
just to think, i realized i am way way way too lucky to have such a good health, cheerful, exciting, leisureliness life, and i could possibly do anything as i like to, but she on the other hand can't..
she did not ask to live like this, she didn't have any friend to play with, she only have her mum 24/7 comforting her, uttered that everything is going to be okay
her social interaction was limited, she has only the attendants to play,to fight & to laugh around with.
she's only 7, yet she values her life, but me?the only thing i values most is about my studies achievement, sacrificing my daily rest and doesn't even bother about when and what to eat, or sometimes i even skipped my meals, the truth is, i don't seems to care of my own health, while.on the opposite, she is struggling for a healthy life of hers..

so yesterday,i rescheduled my time-table, study smart, get enough rest, will try to spent more time with my family, friends, doctors and my future patients..
the best teacher comes from experiences...its true and i face it right now!
my condolences to the syaima's family..may ALLAH bless her family perseverance in facing the test given!
last but not least, do values our health!life to the utmost with a healthy life style ok!

p/s: forgive me for any of the grammatical/spelling error..i'm a learner, teach me if i'm wrong ok!
till we meet again!
(i'll sit for another test next sunday, i hope all of the readers can pray for me and my friend's success!have a blast day ok!)